Mommy Says Fuck You

When Mommy says what she really thinks.

Thanks for announcing your puppies arrival on Facebook, by failing to mention the birth of your fucking grandson.

Also, it was so awesome when you offered to help take care of kid #1 during those first difficult weeks of having a new baby….then promptly began remodeling your fucking living and dining room….

It was even more awesome when your remodel took priority over caring for kid #1 while I went to a fucking WIC certification appointment… While baby daddy drove 40 miles to go to an unemployment office.

We really were making progress. I was really starting to care about your selfish ass.

I wonder, do you realize who will be taking care of YOU when your old?…you’re setting yourself up for a shitty nursing hone, if you’re lucky.

Ain’t love grande.

I don’t like having two kids.

I want my old life back.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
You are so fucking dumb
mommysaysfuckyou mommysaysfuckyou Said:


I’m corny, cranky, and chair dancing, you cum guzzling little twit.

43 weeks according to the original estimate. 8 pounds 12 ounces. 15 hour bitchass labor from hell.

No tears, no stitches, no meconium…

File this under don’t believe the hype. Believe your body.


Why is it such a novel concept that moms need a little time to themselves to feel human?
You loose yourself in motherhood and taking a bath with a glass of wine can make a real fucking difference in how you feel.

(via stifflersteph)

I was 42 weeks and a few days with both my kids. I also had to take naturopathics to induce labor both times and had successful home births both times. In France they say pregnancy should go at least 41 weeks and won't even consider inducement until after 42 weeks. Don't be discouraged. Go for a hike. Good luck!
mommysaysfuckyou mommysaysfuckyou Said:

OMG, this is so encouraging. Thank you.

NST #3 passed with flying colors and all kinds of encouraging words from the nursing staff, including one who told us, “we used to see women in here at 43 weeks all the time.”. Seems our health care has improved, but America’s overall health has not…



Kids Are Given Game Boys, Feel Instant Sadness

Ah, Game Boys. Forget your 3DS and your iPad mini: there was a day when these handheld hunks of 8-bit glory owned the playground. But these kids don’t remember it so watch the full hilarious video of their reactions to the original Game Boy here. 

(Source: The Fine Brothers)

Spoilt little shits!! How rude of them!

Idk, I has things called crayons and paper and made my own damn games up.

(via thefemimommy)

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